Global Warming is Cured

[IHL]

Well, it's over. After all these years of the upcoming apocolyse known as global warming, I am very happy to report that global warming is no longer a threat. Wheew - what a relief.

Thanks to over 600,000,000 concerned citizens and their jumping abilities, we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief. Al Gore must be thrilled - well, as thrilled as Al Gore can be.

As I reported in 1-2-3 Jump (http://www.theamericanright.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4069), all we needed was enough jumpers to knock the earth off its rotational path enough and viola! - fixed.

According to WorldJumpDay.org (http://worldjumpday.org), 600,248,012 jumpers signed up. This is almost a quarter million more jumpers than needed. I hope they took into account what happens if too many people jump. Logic could dictate that if we knock it too far off kilt, we may create global cooling, then again logic has no place here. And global cooling wouldn't be anything new. I'll remind you that just a few short years ago, many of the same people warning of global warming were telling us the problem we were facing was global cooling. You can read that article here: The Cooling World (http://www.theamericanright.com/forums/showthread.php?t=203).

It's all very confusing to me. I'm just glad Al Gore and his scientists have finally fixed this 'greatest threat to humanity'.

I'm just glad it's over and we can all rest easy.

[Guns R Cool]

We knocked off to far? Al Gore is coming out with a sequel now.

[Nerf Hofflemire]

Hooray! We're finally safe. Thank you jumpers. Thank God for you.

[Wadi66]

this 'greatest threat to humanity'. Just how many "greatest threats" are there? Seems we have quite a number of them. Suppose we can get Gore et al to solve them too?

Does this mean I can shut off my air conditioning or will the whole global warming cure take a while to be felt?

[IHL]

Good question Wadi. I'm not sure of the answer. I would think it should be pretty immediate. It was a very hot weekend here, over 95 degrees. Today it's only in the 80's so obviously the jump has helped.

I would say you could probably get rid of your air conditioning. Keep in mind however, that I am not an expert on environment and atmospheric meterorology like - oh, Barbra Streisand for example, so this is just my opinion. If you want scientific fact, you'll have to ask an expert like Sean Penn, Streisand, or maybe even the big guy, Al Gore.

[shotdrops286]

funny thing about all this global warming...UK is in a heat wave. the had the second hottest day (100+)degrees since 1659...ill try and find the article

Seems to me if it was that hot in 1659 maybe the global warming things has alot of flaws

[Wadi66]

Today it's only in the 80's so obviously the jump has helped.Oh man, I'm gonna come live with you. We've had temp's in ranging between 97-100 for the last two weeks and looks like the trend will last for a while.

You really think the 'big guy Gore' will answer me if I send him a letter? I'd ask Barbie but I have trouble understanding her when she talks, sound like her nose is plugged or something.

Oh well. Hey IHL would I be insulting you if I held on to the air conditioner for a while longer? I mean, just in case the jump thingy cure doesn't last??

[Schmitty27]

My astronomical oberservations have confirmed that Venus' magnitude is shrinking considerably, and Mars' is growing considerably! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE JUMPERS, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!!!

[Wadi66]

:jumpy1: ANOTHER "GREATEST THREAT TO HUMANITY" ?? :faint:

[Goose]

On the bright side, NASA will save a bunch of money on manned spaceflights to Mars.

[WhiteAfricanAmerican]

Logic could dictate that if we knock it too far off kilt, we may create global cooling

Here I was thinking that gravity might not have as much pull and we might be flung out into outer space.

But look on the bright side, if global warming, according these idiots still exists or gets worse, it's no longer GW's fault :roflmao1:

[IHL]

Good point.

Also, shouldn't we have felt something, like a little jolt or bump or something? I mean, if we got knocked off our orbit, I would think we would have felt it.

Damn, where is Sean Penn when you need him?

[Wadi66]

Damn, where is Sean Penn when you need him?I hear tell he's still bailing out his boat. :icon_mrgr

[Nerf Hofflemire]

Hi Sodie, I was wondering when you would start to reply on this thread. Did you jump? Or did you win a T-shirt. I heard you could win a T-shirt. What's it say? "I proudly realigned Earth on July 20th". Kind of has a ring to it, no?

I get up, and nothing gets me down.
You got it tough. Ive seen the toughest around.
And I know, baby, just how you feel.
Youve got to roll with the punches to get to whats real
Might as well jump. jump !
Might as well jump.
Go ahead, jump. jump !
Go ahead, jump.
-Van Halen

[Topiary Lady]

Sean Penn is over here at my house IHL. I'd lend him to you but I have made him my new Cabana Boy for now. You know, it's going to take a little time for the earth to adapt to this major chiropractic adjustment. So, in the meantime, Sean will be employed serving fruity cocktails at my outdoor tiki bar to me and my guests. When I'm through with him he'll be strapped to a surfboard and pushed off the pier towards Hawaii so he can give foot rubs to the Samoans. As we saw after Katrina, Sean likes to be of service for those in need. So, good hearted soul that I am, I am letting him serve ME for now.

Oh Seany.....could I have a fresh umbrella for my smoothie please? This one is the wrong color!

[Topiary Lady]

Nothing MC absolutly nothing. The whole jump thing was a hoax. Just one big joke. Kinda like libs like Sean Penn who do nothing but blow a whole lot of hot air into the atmosphere. Funny though, it seemed like some of the moonbat press took it seriously.

[WhiteAfricanAmerican]

The whole jump thing was a hoax. Just one big joke.

Now what would be ABSOLUTELY hysterical, is if this whole thing was organised by an evil neo con, who got all these people to sign up, then after the jump went public and mocked the crap out of those idiots that jumped.

Hey IHL, mebe we could organise another one :icon_twis

[FKLBRLS]

Oh man, good thing we stopped global warming! Great to see the single greatest threat to humanity is now gone!

[Bumblebee]

Now what would be ABSOLUTELY hysterical, is if this whole thing was organised by an evil neo con, who got all these people to sign up, then after the jump went public and mocked the crap out of those idiots that jumped.:icon_twis
You mean evil conservatives like this?
http://www.evilconservatives.com/ :lol:

[earthtoned]

theres simply no way this site could have signed up over 600 million people in just a few months. a clear hoax.

[Nerf Hofflemire]

Glenn Beck actually made that site.

[Bumblebee]

LOL

My favorite is the one with the dinosaurs. "Nature destroyed them. Help them get even." Frickin halarious!
I liked 'The Bucket of Pills.'

What dinosaurs, MC? I didn't see any? Did you click on something in that site?

[Oi_Ve]

This one. :icon_mrgr (http://www.glennbeck.com/dayaftertomorrow/userposter6.jpg)

That's the first thing you've ever linked me to that made me laugh out loud...have a cookie.

[Wadi66]

:confused: oops I forgot :doh1:

[RightisRightLeftisWrong]

I think this planet needs a good purge of all the idiots here 600,000,000 right there, maybe most of them just signed up for the hell of it just because they were bored and nothing else to do I bet you thats what happend.

Lol interesting how that Dinosaur eye has a round pupil reptials dont have round pupils. And that one did give me good laugh.