If Politics could be like UFC...

[SealabFan77]

Hey hey, it's your average right-winged teenager Fano here. The title of this thread means what it means, because if it was like UFC, I'd suggest all of you to strap up to give a fine good kickin'! I got the most famous quotes from your favorite, MICHAEL MOORE, and I'd like you all to criticize and thrash every statement here! Have at it boys, I wanna see the blood hit the bricks! :icon_twis

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"We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it's the fictition of duct tape or fictition of orange alerts we are against this war, Mr. Bush. hame on you. Mr. Bush, shame on you. And any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up."

"He is probably choking on a pretzel or something. I hope nobody tells him that I have won this award while he is eating a pretzel. ... He has the funniest lines in the film. I am eternally grateful to him."

"I forgot out there on the stage to thank my cast. So if I could do that now, I want to thank Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz and Donald Rumsfeld. I thought the love scene between Cheney and Rumsfeld brought a tear to my eye."

"Maybe it's a sick fantasy of mine, but I am really looking forward to a debate between a general and a deserter. Plus, I really want to hear President Bush have to say, 'Yes, General, No, General.'"

"I would like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a 'deserter.' What I meant to say is that George W. Bush is a deserter, an election thief, a drunk driver, a WMD liar, and a functional illiterate. And he poops his pants"

"The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you -- are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction."

"If someone did this [9/11] to get back at Bush, then they did so by killing thousands of people who DID NOT VOTE for him! Boston, New York, D.C., and the planes' destination of California -- these were places that voted AGAINST Bush!"

"You know he's [George W. Bush] there illegally. You know he was not elected either by the popular vote or by the vote in Florida."

"White people scare the crap out of me. … I have never been attacked by a black person, never been evicted by a black person, never had my security deposit ripped off by a black landlord, never had a black landlord … never been pulled over by a black cop, never been sold a lemon by a black car salesman, never seen a black car salesman, never had a black person deny me a bank loan, never had a black person bury my movie, and I've never heard a black person say, 'We're going to eliminate ten thousand jobs here - have a nice day!'"

"These bastards who run our country are a bunch of conniving, thieving, smug pricks who need to be brought down and removed and replaced with a whole new system that we control."

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[FKLBRLS]

Ooh man, the time bomb inside me is about to go off, it would really suck if I were in an airport security checkpoint right about now, hold on tight, it's gonna be ALL CAPS FROM HERE!!!

"We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it's the fictition of duct tape or fictition of orange alerts we are against this war, Mr. Bush. hame on you. Mr. Bush, shame on you. And any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up."
NO, WE HAVE REAL ELECTION RESULTS THAT MUST BE RECOUNTED BY YOU BECAUSE YOUR CANDIDATE COULD NOT ACCEPT THE FACT THAT HE LOST! THE REASONS FOR GOING TO WAR WERE NOT FICTITIOUS, THEY WERE REAL AND THEN LIBERAL ASSHOLES, ONCE THEY SAW THEM, STARTED TO DOWNPLAY THEM AND SAID THAT THE OBVIOUS PICTURE OF A WEAPONS TRUCK WAS ACTUALLY A CATERING VEHICLE (yeah, catering vehicles are large, tan colored, and spray green gas that makes everyone around it die)! PLUS, THE WAR IN IRAQ WAS VOTED FOR BY JOHN KERRY, BARBARA BOXER, AND HILLARY CLINTON ALIKE! SHAME ON YOU, FATASS! LASTLY, THE DIXIE CHICKS SUCK, AND NO THE POPE IS NOT AGAINST BUSH, HE IS AGAINST THE WAR!

"He is probably choking on a pretzel or something. I hope nobody tells him that I have won this award while he is eating a pretzel. ... He has the funniest lines in the film. I am eternally grateful to him."
YOU ARE PROBABLY EATING 12-15 PRETZELS AT A TIME RIGHT NOW AND YOU PROBABLY HAVE BEEN FOR 8 HOURS NOW!(SEE, I CAN DO MINDLESS STUPID INSULTS TOO!)

"I forgot out there on the stage to thank my cast. So if I could do that now, I want to thank Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz and Donald Rumsfeld. I thought the love scene between Cheney and Rumsfeld brought a tear to my eye."
ARE YOU GOING TO THANK YOUR DOUGHNUTS AS WELL? I ALSO THOUGHT THE LOVE SCENE BETWEEN YOU, YOURSELF, AND THE BIG MAC WAS JUST AWESOME!

"Maybe it's a sick fantasy of mine, but I am really looking forward to a debate between a general and a deserter. Plus, I really want to hear President Bush have to say, 'Yes, General, No, General.'"
WHAT!? OH WAIT, THAT IS JUST MORE OF YOUR MINDLESS BABBLING! IT IS ALSO A SICK FANTASY OF MINE TO SEE A DEBATE BETWEEN YOU AND A COLLEGE GRADUATE!

"I would like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a 'deserter.' What I meant to say is that George W. Bush is a deserter, an election thief, a drunk driver, a WMD liar, and a functional illiterate. And he poops his pants"
DESERTER?! BUSH ACTUALLY SERVED IN THE AIR NATIONAL GUARD! BILL CLINTON KNOWINGLY DESERTED, I DON'T SEE YOU UP HIS ASS ABOUT IT! AL GORE IS A PERSON WHO CANNOT ACCEPT THAT HE LOST AN ELECTION EVEN AFTER IT WAS PROVED THAT HE LOST 4 TIMES! YOU CALL BUSH A DRUNK DRIVER? BUSH DROVE DRUNK A FEW HUNDRED FEET FROM A PARTY TO HIS HOUSE AND HIT HIS NEIGHBOR'S TRACH CANS! AND HE OPENLY ADMITTED TO DOING IT! TED KENNEDY DROVE DRUNK SEVERAL MILES, DROVE OFF A BRIDGE, KILLED THE GIRL HE WAS CHEATING ON HIS WIFE WITH, AND SPENT THE REST OF THE NIGHT TRYING TO COVER IT UP! AS WITH THE WMDs: YES BUSH BYPASSED GETTING OIL FROM ALASKA, AZERBAIJAN, AND IRAQ, AND ONLY WENT TO WAR WITH AN EVIL DICTATOR TO GET AT HIS OIL! FUNCTIONAL ILLITERATE MY ASS! HE DID BETTER AT YALE THAN KERRY DID! THE LAST ONE IS SO MORBIDLY STUPID IT DOESN'T EVEN DESERVE MY INSULT!

"The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you -- are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction."
WELL GEE, THAT SORTA MAKES SENSE (sarcasm). ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT MORE AMERICANS VOTED FOR BUSH AFTER THE WAR IN IRAQ WAS STARTED!

"If someone did this [9/11] to get back at Bush, then they did so by killing thousands of people who DID NOT VOTE for him! Boston, New York, D.C., and the planes' destination of California -- these were places that voted AGAINST Bush!"
YES WE ALL KNOW IT IS SO TRUE THAT AL QAIDA DID 9-11 TO GET BACK AT BUSH (SARCASM)! REMEMBER THAT 9-11 TOOK PLACE 9 MONTHS AFTER BUSH BECAME PRESIDENT AND THAT 9-11 TOOK 2 YEARS OF PLANNING! MOREOVER, WE WERE NOT ATTACKED BECAUSE OF BUSH, WE WERE ATTACKED BECAUSE RADICAL MUSLIMS HATE OUR FREEDOM AND THEY THOUGHT THAT THEY COULD GET AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT WE WOULDN'T RETALIATE, BECAUSE BILL CLINTON NEVER RETALIATED AGAINST TERRORISM! FURTHERMORE, CALIFORNIA IS A RED STATE, THE ONLY REASON IT IS BLUE DURING THE ELECTIONS IS BECAUSE OUR 2 LARGEST CITIES ARE LIBERAL. IF SF AND LA WERE NOT PART OF CALIFORNIA WE WOULD VOTE RED INSTANTLY!

"You know he's [George W. Bush] there illegally. You know he was not elected either by the popular vote or by the vote in Florida."
FIRST OF ALL, THE POPULAR VOTE DOESN'T DETERMINE WHO'S IN OFFICE! SECONDLY, BUSH WAS ELECTED BY THE PEOPLE IN FLORIDA, 4 DIFFERENT METHODS OF COUNTING VOTES PROVED THIS! THE ONLY METHOD OF COUNTING VOTES THAT SAYS GORE WON FLORIDA IS THE METHOD WHERE VOTES FOR BUSH ARE WRONGLY LABELED "UNREADABLE" AND THEREFORE NOT COUNTING!

"White people scare the crap out of me. … I have never been attacked by a black person, never been evicted by a black person, never had my security deposit ripped off by a black landlord, never had a black landlord … never been pulled over by a black cop, never been sold a lemon by a black car salesman, never seen a black car salesman, never had a black person deny me a bank loan, never had a black person bury my movie, and I've never heard a black person say, 'We're going to eliminate ten thousand jobs here - have a nice day!'"
WELL I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU ARE ATTACKED BY A BLACK PERSON YOU CANNOT RETALIATE WITHOUT BEING SUED! IF YOU WERE EVER EVICTED, IT WAS BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T PAY YOUR RENT FOR MANY MONTHS IN A ROW, NOT BECAUSE WHITE LANDLORDS ARE "EVIL"! YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN PULLED OVER BY A BLACK COP BECAUSE #1: MANY BLACK PEOPLE AREN'T COPS, THEY SUE COPS AND #2: THAT'S BECAUSE THE BLACK COPS ARE BUSY DOING MASSIVE DRUG RAIDS ON YOUR RICH CELEBRITY NEIGHBOR! IF YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF NOT PAYING BACK LOANS OF COURSE YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE DENIED A LOAN! THE FACT THAT YOU WERE DENIED A LOAN BY A WHITE GUY VERSUS A BLACK GUY IS BECAUSE BLACK GUYS DON'T BECOME LOAN AGENTS, THEY EITHER WORK FOR MORE INTERESTING COMPANIES OR LIVE OFF WELFARE OR START A "SINGING CAREER"! YOUR MOVIES SUCK, GET USED TO IT! AND, I BET YOU ALSO HAVEN'T HEARD A BLACK PERSON SAY, "Hi, were from Greenland Electronics. We're insourcing labor to the US. We're opening 5 new factories across America and we want you to be an employee." BECAUSE EVEN IF YOU DID HEAR THAT YOU WOULD BE IGNORANT AND DENY HEARING IT!

"These bastards who run our country are a bunch of conniving, thieving, smug pricks who need to be brought down and removed and replaced with a whole new system that we control."
WELL, YOU HAD A CHANCE TO GET RID OF THESE "BASTARDS" (Who are actually quite nice people, as compared to Howard Dean and Bill Clinton) IN 2004! AMERICA KNEW BETTER THAN TO LISTEN TO YOUR CRAP! KEEP DREAMING YOU BIG FAT F**K!!!

Oh man, that was exhausting (panting)! Got that out of my system! Pretty fun! Well now that I'm finished I might as well rest a whi...(passes out from fatigue).

[SealabFan77]

FREAKIN BEAUTIFUL! You deserve a freakin medal for this!

[shotdrops286]

Michael Moore should step into the octagon with Chuck "The Iceman" Lidell, Randy "The Natural" Coutore and Andre "The Pitbull" Arlovski. 3 on 1 fight to the death and it should be on pay per view and i would rent it and get popcorn and invite over friends...(BTW im a big UFC fan)

[SealabFan77]

Michael Moore should step into the octagon with Chuck "The Iceman" Lidell, Randy "The Natural" Coutore and Andre "The Pitbull" Arlovski. 3 on 1 fight to the death and it should be on pay per view and i would rent it and get popcorn and invite over friends...(BTW im a big UFC fan)
You don't say! Hahaha, as am I. :biggrin:

[shotdrops286]

besides football its the best sport on television (i take muay thai and brazilian ju-jitsu as well) so i love watching the professionals.

[Argonath]

Your forgeting something? RUGBY!? The most dangerous profesional sport, if I'm not mistaken. Anyway, Moore wouldn't be so annoying if he weren't so fat. Seriously, have you noticed that Pat Robertson is heard, but not listened to? Micheal moore makes it so damn easy! man! I mean, take this for example:

MOORE: "If everyone stopped eating for a day, we could end world hunger
ME: "If you stopped eating for a day, McDonald's would go out of business".

That easy.

[FKLBRLS]

FREAKIN BEAUTIFUL! You deserve a freakin medal for this!
Thank you. It took me a while, but it was worth it in the end. I think I took the quote feature to a whole new level with the "Quoted by: FatAss Moore" part.

[alwaysRight]

I absolutely hate Michael Moore.. I won't call him names however I would love to.. I leave name calling up to Liberals like him.

It's funny that he calls President Bush illiterate, dumb, etc when he says immature things like "he poops his pants."

And to say that Pres Bush didn't win? He stole the election? Well, I could always say that Bush won because 15,000 supporters of Gore were too STUPID to figure out how to vote.

I wish Michael Moore would just... dissappear...

The quotes just show how big of an idiot Moore is.. I think the good thing is people are starting to distance themselves from radicals like him.. well in my experience

[Bumblebee]

AR, he won't disappear, he needs to make more movies about Bush and the corrupted Republicans.
I received he's e-mail letter today, (I'm on his mailing list) and he said, he and his staff have been in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast for one month, now. He's slapping himself on the back by running his own relief effort. Says there is no help from the Red Cross or FEMA, because they are a disorganized embarrassing mess. Moore says he and all he's people, volunteers, etc. will make sure Bush & Co. pay for their failure later, but for now he is still over there with his volunteers helping people. Hmm...I wonder if it's another wonderful movie, uh...documentary.

[Dagummit]

Don't libs like moore realize that GW Bush is one of the best Presidents of all time? If they don't, I'd have to ask how old they are? Reason for asking this? Most childish morons don't like Bush.