Baby Bombers Banned!

[Topiary Lady]

I really thought things had gone too far when we started seeing the videos of ladies in skin tight tank tops having their torso's frisked at airports. What, do they have exploding implants or something?

Now it seems that the names of some 10 month olds are showing up on the nations no-fly lists and BABIES are being denied access to air travel. Well I say, good thing! Last thing we need is a baby on an aircraft whipping out a box cutter and flying a plane into a Toys R Us store or something. Thank goodness the Gerber grenades and diaper stink bombs carried by those evil babies have been stopped before disaster could strike.

Is'nt it comforting to know how the PC police are working so hard protecting us?

[IHL]

LOL, good one TL. And while the security guards are busy sniffing baby diapers, Abdul and Mohamed are slipping past unnoticed because the guards are afraid that if they stop the Arabs, the liberals will accuse them of profiling.

Well I have news for you, profiling is exactly what we need to do. I don't think any babies or 80 year old grandmas in walkers were guilty of any terrorist attacks. We know the profile. We know who attacked us, we know who attacked London, we know who attacked Spain and I'll bet dollars to donuts we know who will do the next attack. They fit a profile. That's some useful shit to know who the enemy is, or at least have a profile of what they will be like so maybe, just maybe, we should use that information.

But, I don't mean to hijack your thread with my ranting. Back to diaper bombs...

[Wadi66]

TL, you must admit, some of those diapers can get pretty explosive. But hey, if the guards get their kicks smelling dirty diapers, have at it.

[Topiary Lady]

Well, all those silly parents needed to do is take the baby and troddle on over to the gift shop for a white t-shirt and a sewing kit. Then just whip up a tiny little baby turbin and beard and get back in line and present the tot as little 'Akmed O'Brien'. They'd probably be waived right through to boarding and extra bags of pretzles at the door. We don't want to offend anyone.

Wadi, I am convinced that babies are the reason that there are barf bags on airplanes. How such sweet little creatures can produce such horrific things in those diapers is beyond me. Gag! Bleck!!! BLECK!!!

[ScottyK]

As a father of two little ones, I've wondered how something so cute and small can produce something so stomach churning. UGH.

I do like that idea of clearing security faster by wearing a turban. Beat the PC crowd at thier own game!

[FKLBRLS]

I mean, granted, they are only babies, but the fact that their ears may pop and make them scream the whole damn way
Actually not all babies are like this. I was always smart and self conscious enough not to cry when my ears popped. Or maybe since I had been flying since 9 weeks I had learned that the pain would go away after awhile, who knows. And if you think having crying babies is bad, try sitting by someone with ADD. At least with babies they shut up for most of the flight.

Anyway this is just hilarious. Makes me think of Stewie from Family Guy. I feel so much safer now that the baby bombers are prevented from blowing up my plane. Although maybe 10-month olds have been showing up on no-fly lists because they cry too much or smell too bad. That'd be a great holdup at security. "Oh I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, but your son has been put on the 'exceptionally smelly list'." Imagine what would happen when the kids age, like if their next flight isn't until they're 17. "Oh I'm sorry Jimmy, but you are on the 'cries too much in flight list'." I bet Ann Coulter will write a column on this.

[thumbelina]

Diaper sparks bomb alert (http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20050818/od_nm/germany_nappy_dc_1)
BERLIN (Reuters) - An "electronic nappy" used to monitor wetness sparked a bomb alert in a German post office when it arrived in a parcel ticking suspiciously, police in the southwestern city of Heilbronn said Thursday.

They suspected it was a bomb so they put the package into an empty room and called the police," said a police spokesman. "It was supposed to respond to wetness with bleeping sounds but this one ticked."

Two squad cars rushed to the scene and immediately contacted the sender. Police gave the all clear after they contacted the woman who told them the intercepted package contained only a malfunctioning diaper. :icon_bigg

[Topiary Lady]

Well, there are things worse than sitting next to a stinky tot. You could be seated next to a sweaty sot...like Mikie Moore!

Thumbelina, Where do you get all this stuff? I love it. I'm so glad you are on this site.

[Topiary Lady]

I hate flying - I really do. The stuffy airports filled with unknown people toting little germ-factories in strollers whom they will let loose once aboard the plane. The security people who search little old ladies, but not young Arab men. The people who do not like being confined to the one seat that they have purchased and insist on intruding into my space. The people who just have to insult or belittle the Flight Attendants as though they were their slaves to have their way with. Ugh...I dread it everytime.

So now I'll get out my very comfy Yoga outfit which leaves not much room for anyone to wonder what I may be concealing underneath, and I will board yet another plane. Will I get through without the big 'feel-up'? I don't know. Who knows these days? I am getting older, and should I end up in a wheelchair one of these days, I am quite sure that I will need to be strip searched. Hopefully they will provide me with some nice young Marine or someone that I can at least flirt with as I take it all off. :icon_lol:

Ha ha ha...it is a funny thing to think about. Lord knows I don't want to think about those exploding diapers as I head out again. There is enough to worry about without that shit. :icon_wink

[Dr. Madd]

Myra and I are planning a tiny mad Scientist.

[Topiary Lady]

^
Good. Don't take it on a plane though! :icon_lol:

[i_love_being_so_wicked]

I really thought things had gone too far when we started seeing the videos of ladies in skin tight tank tops having their torso's frisked at airports. What, do they have exploding implants or something?

Now it seems that the names of some 10 month olds are showing up on the nations no-fly lists and BABIES are being denied access to air travel. Well I say, good thing! Last thing we need is a baby on an aircraft whipping out a box cutter and flying a plane into a Toys R Us store or something. Thank goodness the Gerber grenades and diaper stink bombs carried by those evil babies have been stopped before disaster could strike.

Is'nt it comforting to know how the PC police are working so hard protecting us?


They should not be checking babies out as if parents are going to hide bombs and stuff in their strollers or diapers. They should be checking out people with turbins or if they even look the least bit suspicious no matter if they are accused of racial profiling or not. They are putting people at risk if they do not suspect everyone.

[Dr. Madd]

Linc or Martha will be in a Tree House, pouring buckets of water on Liberals below.

[conservativecanadian]

airlines and the faa are so ridiculous. blame jimmy carter for that

[FKLBRLS]

The FAA pisses me off. I flew last weekend and I had to send 2 trays (1 for the laptop, 1 for shoes) plus my laptop through. I just showed my ID with my wallet to the guy at the front of the line, and he told me I needed to take my ID out next time. What, does a thin sheet of CLEAR PLASTIC obscure the picture?

airlines and the faa are so ridiculous. blame jimmy carter for that
Ironically increased competition among the airlines has made them crappier since 1978. Before the deregulation during Carter's term, flying was a dignified experience, because with guaranteed profits airlines could blow money on all kinds of customer-pleasing stuff. Of course, with deregulation we got "cheaper" fares, and for the first 2 decades most of the major airlines got stronger than before (though Eastern, Braniff, and PanAm died). Plus the rules under regulation were just plain ridiculous. Even without the CAB the bureaucracy that airlines deal with is crippling.

You know what REALLY blows me? I have a student pilot certificate and I get screened. The captain of my plane has thousands of hours of flight time, and he gets screened. But the Arab people who worked at the food places and cleaned the terminals don't get screened often. The TSA is the shittiest organization on the face of the earth.